Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
