You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
