I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
areolas are like halos for boobs.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
