I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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