My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
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porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
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It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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