I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
NoShamevember. You game?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
