he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
