I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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