her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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