oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
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It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
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