would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
