Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
