i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
