spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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