So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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