It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
