Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
worst night to have a conscience
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
