So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
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I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
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Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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