Duck Duck Cougar?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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