whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
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