oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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