I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
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