Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
