Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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