And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
