Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
