I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
