I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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