she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
smell my finger.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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