the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
