your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
