Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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