So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
