just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
