Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
