I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
