Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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