in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
that may or may not have been my penis.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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