would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize