I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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