There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
