She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
