Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
