ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
