i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
