WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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