He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
