omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
