my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
