Whats the glycemic index on semen?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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