You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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