Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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