I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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