I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
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I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
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It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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