i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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