hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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