How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
