you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
