I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
