The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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