I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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