i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
