you traded sex for a burrito?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Everyone says I win the strip club
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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